If i could translate this to German

Dear honorable cheap internet provider,
Last week ,without warning,my internet AND telephone were disconnected.
A cold icy communication agent working on  the hotline insisted on no exceptions.
I found myself unable to phone or send a copy of the bill,therefore completely disconnected from  civilization or all forms of life ,since Friday.
My apartment could have been burglarized,i could have been attacked or had a sudden seizure but “no exceptions”also “no warning”.
At the same time i fell ill and had no contact with the outside world till i had managed to drag myself to a local  book store where i proceeded to purchase books by the bulk. Thank you for providing a rare opportunity to stimulate areas of the brain not stimulated enough and for reassuring me that dementia is not a threat (yet)despite my inability to find my keys/purse/way out of the piles of books most mornings.
The 5 days of disconnect during which i crawled to nearest Starbucks to connect to the world reassured me the world has not ended yet,well not till November anyway… so thank you for providing me the adrenalin rush as i layed acheing  of flu and thought how i would contact emergency if the house burned down or there was a flood or earthquake or someone leaked Hillary’s email about a nuclear bomb code .
I feel so much better now as i am able to call emergency services to save me should i find myself buried under my house. Now i know how the  wicked witch in the wizard of Oz felt like..

next time,please,can you let me know before you pull the plug?


sick seagull L.

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About seagullsea

a seagull flying over the great ocean of life observing.
This entry was posted in a letter to the stars, a stranger in paradise, internet. Bookmark the permalink.

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