But did you look at the sky today?

“To seclude yourself in order to pour out your heart to God is of supreme value,the highest of all levels.”

“The six hundres thousand letters of the Torah* correspond to the six hundred thousand souls present at mount Sinai when the Torah was given.
Each letter clothes a soul,a mind;each soul represents a unique principal.Each one of us bears a divine message and has come to this world to express it…Our soul yearns ceaselessly for the sublime and for perfection.Its only desire is to be united with its essence,which is the Abosolute.
However ,life in this world is an exile of the soul,which finds itself in contact with matter and its random factors only by its presence in the body.This mass is formed from earth ,imbued with functional requirements,animated by thr vital instincts and its general and final direction is the return to earth.Hence there is a great conflict one might say even war ,between these two opposite tendencies,which each attract man to its pole.Man’s consciousness should meditate this conflict and harmoniously regulate the role of each part in order to produce a fruitful association in which the upper part will fix the lower one and earn an eternal merit.

-Did you look at the sky today?Rabbi Nachman of Breslev meditation.

why switzerland?
as i enter a pharmacy
the lady behind the counter
avoids any eye contact,
i struggle to make myself understood,though i speak the language,i am clearly not a native,
it is a beautiful summer-Autumn day,
the sun is shining and the red ripe apples hang on the trees,
it would be so easy to enjoy if only i did not have the flu bug…
i run into a lady who was with me in dog playgroup years ago,i tell her hello,i am a bit ill,
she moves away,disappears,
then the pharmacy lady looks away as i describe my symptoms.
Compassion,where are you?!
A young assistant ,around my daughter’s age ,struggles to not giggle when confronted with the question:
“how do you say flu in German again?”
She does not seem to be able to answer my question regarding asprin or penadol or anything else.
Grippe-the medicin box says behind her but she does not seem to comprehend my whispers..
The older  pharmacist pretends to be dusting spiders or taking inventory to avoid my questions.
Yes,i had different experiences,there are nice pharmacy ladies in Switzerland too who look you in the eye and give you home remedies like cooking onions and sugar and drinking that…oh,no…
yes,i know a few grandmother recipies myself like “Goggle Moggle”-raw eggs and honey…but i am happy to take a pill instead;chemicals ,clean,neat,sterile.
I can say mean things right now,i am agitated,the lack of eye contact when speaking but always looking suspiciously as if behind shutters  at a stranger sitting to rest,not to mention the swiss police patrolling cats or mice..
Yes,i could easily deal with OPEN aggression ,but it is the hidden passive aggression the unexpected ,i can not seem to learn to live with.Those expectations so easily deflated.
I sit resting on a bench beneath a sheltering tree ,catching my breath as the dog drinks from a stream..
yes,we are in true  paradise on earth ,everywhere fountains and streams and clean water right from the faucette ,and, and ,but then i watch an elderly couple unload garden equiptment in stoic silence ,i am reminded of my ex parents on law,more interested in their potatoe crop than the grandchildren,i remember my son seeking his grand mother’s attention in a garden gathering potatoes and beans.
Yes it is easy enough to idealize the farmers,i watch a farmer drive a truck full of hay to feed to  the cows and sheep to feed  to the people and i know that given the choice i would just eat grass but i don’t.
I guess i am a hypocrit because later on i lay in bed with my alp flower tea and munch on mountain cheese and it tastes so good..the taste of hypocricy and betrayal of an anonymous used cow whose body is used and no one looks her in the eye.
I try to envision the cow and say thank you.
Maybe i am supposed to picture God but it is easier to see it in a cow,so generous,giving,peaceful,so Indian , but then India is the world’s  largest exporter of beef…
If i stopped by an Indian pharmacy would they look me in the eye or talk about me in their language and laugh?yes,it  had happened in the past .
Human beings are odd. Never failing to disappoint. disapprove.we can not seem to grasp we will one day die or maybe we are so inside our own thoughts ,we are unable to see beyond.
Everything in life comes at a cost,as the Clintons have taught,and so having befriended psychopaths and addicts and borderline personality disorder,when i am ill,there is no one looking me in the eye,well except the dog when she seeks favors like food or being walked .
It could be worse,i think ,Syria?but then i think of the hospitality not of the hostility.
Moslem hospitality has kept tribes together.Not only Moslems…but why is it that we have hidden G-d behind so many disguises and placed it in so many hidden places when all that is needed is to talk to it?

Sometimes a simple gesture giving my bonus points to the little girls standing behind me in line so they can save up for plush animal figures from Disney films.
They seem so grateful. So simple to have produced a smile..i struggle to smile,as it might disrupt the status quo between nasal passages and breathing mechanism…i want to cry but the eyes feel hot with fever. I make  a small friendly nod instead.

The stone story from Breslev meditation tells of a king who told his son to carry a heavy stone up to the first floor of the palace.Despite efforts with horses or machines,the prince was unable to carry the stone.
“It is impossible”,the prince said.
“would i have asked you to do an impossible task?” answered the king
“If you would have used a hammer,you could have broken the stone to small pieces.”
The heart is like a stone ,hard and unyielding but by striking it with a hammer ,by talking to God,we can break little by little and then piece by piece we can elevate the heart.”

*Torah:The five books of the old tastement  bible.

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About seagullsea

a seagull flying over the great ocean of life observing.
This entry was posted in a letter to the stars, a stranger in paradise, blues, diagnosis, fake vs. real, gratitude, healing, hope, jewish survival, life choices, life lessons, lost in translation, planetary life, quest theory and practice, self growth and development, spirituality, survival, swiss life, understanding ourselves, vegetarian life. Bookmark the permalink.

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