because i cared

people were too busy eating dinner

Iris, the local schizophrenic with a small papillon called Tom boy 

stops to say hello but when she hears that i am unhappy with life 

she quickly makes an excuse that she has to feed her son dinner 

though me and the heavyset man who holds her hand 

we both know she is lying 

because behind mental illness 

she is self centred and does not really care 

if i fall in the snow and if i disappear through a hole in the earth 

which is how i feel 

because crazy people come in all shapes and forms 

and suffering does not automatically make you sensitive to other people’s pain 

so Iris goes home with another man, she will not make dinner for her son 

who lives in foster care and probably has not seen his mother for years 

she will go home and think about herself, and think about herself 

and think about herself till the day she dies 

and i ,

i will think about life and how it divides caring so unequally 

and while i care about a spider hanging in a corner of my room 

more than most people in this world will ever care about me 

or anyone else, 

i know that my heart is filled with sorrow and anguish and emotions 

and not only for my self 

and for this i am grateful and anticipate something good happening or showing up besides Iris and Tomboy and the ever changing man in the short time i got left

 

to live and to believe 

something better has got to come my way 

because i cared for one spider one cold frozen day..

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About seagullsea

a seagull flying over the great ocean of life observing.
This entry was posted in a letter to the stars, mad monolgues, memories are made of this, mental health, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

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