moving diary: last day

Fog found me 

in a similar sentimentality, 

looking at the documents of the past 

while the day urges to make a new way, 

help comes from an unexpected source

Montenegro ,

the weight of the objects accumulated 

has been lifted 

there is always a tomorrow 

( 0r so we all want to think)

this camel only has to carry 

this much 

and not more,

it is time to detach this mortal 




The piles have gotten smaller but are still piles of “things” and how do i let go ? 

Carless, limited in physical strength, lower back pains have indicted the limit to how much i can carry. 

The elderly neighbour down the street who had lived in a kibbutz for some months volunteering abandoned me at the book broci with boxes of books and clothes, the odd German girl who filled my head with her love affairs and plans, had a car, but felt insulted and anyway is busy with herself, a huge ego, so are everyone i encounter, so i know not to ask for help from anyone anymore, it seems that this very wealthy country has limits when it comes to helping strangers  for free, in fact  people have come seen whatever they needed and left without helping, some hinting to needs i could not help with, and so this is humanity at its worse, and i am not in a position to judge, but then the lady who will clean had offered to take the clothes for the team that crosses the border from former yugoslavia, working to support their families. I am overjoyed to know that all my kitchen things, dishes, mixer,not too many things but still, will end up in places where they can be of service, the thought of throwing away all my things in the swiss recycling plant and even pay for it, seems very much against much socialistic ideas , not only to have to let go of my possessions but that they end up destroyed because this society has too much, and has no need for dishes, kitchen things, etc. 

I am in the wrong world, this world that supports some people if they come from a certain country while others are overburdened with the load of having to pay not only their way but if weak, or broken, must pay for their mistakes with their resources thus having to live in constant stress of not being able to afford to live here. This cruel rich wealth society overburdens people with bills with interest , the banks charge and then block accounts , and meanwhile the refugees do not have to worry, they can show up with an iPhone and receive a place to live and lots of support financial and otherwise , and are much desired as labor force, building the swiss houses and roads , caring for their elderly, and cleaning their homes, this is what switzerland desires people who can do physical work, there is no place for dreamers who are overburdened with bills, and have not found their place, but then people show up, a rare star like the cleaning lady from Montenegro who sees the distress of a person forced to abandoned all her things and leave, because the camel can only carry so much. 

So i am off back to where i began life on earth, discovering that a sun , clarity, a common language and the hope of understanding will help me regain the hope that is the very basis for any life on earth, the hope that things will happen, that something will change, that i can finally save myself from a fate of despair, isolation and a lack of appreciation in a foreign language that spells out take take take. Yes, i know there are problems where i am going to, many people need help, but at last i can change places and perhaps be able to do something after i have spent so many years unable to change the fate of a car rolling down a slope towards a disaster. 


  1. Do not hurry to move to a foreign country , where you do not know the language or culture enough to know where you are getting into, do not trust a perfect stranger enough with your life, do not give your life to anyone to keep . Be strong and stand on your own 
  2. Be strong enough to assess what you can handle and what you can not, and no one can handle a pit bull ! they dig their teeth into you and do not let go, stay away from pitbull societies who do not let go , dig their teeth and do not let go. 
  3. Language and values are everything, stick to your language, and your culture , because no  foreign culture and no language will be better , it will only be more confusing, do not believe the joy of the immigrants, it is an illusion, foreign lands do not offer comfort but an illusion that will eventually turn out to be a nest of vipers. stay home, where you are citizen, can vote, can understand the language , and have basic human rights, and can argue with the authorities in a language you understand.  
  4. Tourists have more benefits than foreigners who emigrate
  5. Do not start a family with a foreigner  in a foreign land
  6. Go home




About seagullsea

a seagull flying over the great ocean of life observing.
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