Mental illness

Since I landed in the middle East I find a lot of me tel illnrss;aggression,confrontations that are also live.

I miss the European weather and the masks people wear;here there are no masks though the Arabs are good at masks ..

The heat of the people and environment is almost unbearable..

I would like to go swimming but not on a day when it is overcrowded with bathers.

Last night I attended services in the synagogue.I did not speak to anyone except to apologize to the Rabbi for being late. He was running like the white rabbit towards the tea party. dismissing my apology,I feel he is genuinely  concerned with his mission.

“Being holy”is work,he said,last night and I feel for some pre than others.

This morning I took the dogs to the dog playground ,a particularly was looking dog with one amputee  back paw had caught my eye;he also had a chronic skin disease. Apparently his owner had flown him from Brazil on a 16 hour journey that had to be broken down into two parts;he belonged to a child living in the slums who had given him up for a better life,the woman  had said.

Collecting data the woman was 48 employed in a call center earning more than Brazil ,she had said,had one married sister with children. 

The sister had broken up a 6 year relationship when they had arrived in Israel. She had found another.

I was thinking about relationships and what  constitutes a better life and whether here in Israel I would have a better life..

An iconic  82 year old actress I had run into ,had said that living next to the ocean is an advantage ,yes,it is unless it is overcrowded with children on vacation and tourists. .

I like winter best and recall having my best thoughts during the Times when it rains however I also recall the sadness of a European winter and the loneliness.

Here one can not be truly alone and yet I can.

I guess i had hoped for renewing old connections but time is like a river and Ican not step in it twice.

I am stepping in the river and learning not to compromise regarding relationships ;they either have to be kind considerate and encouraging or put out with the trash. 

Garbage here is free unlike the Swiss  I no longer have to think how to get rid of my trash ,just place it in the containerand oftentimes I find small treasures 

I found a pretty cardboard box ,a photo of sunset in Yosemite park .

The weekend is almost over.

Israel is a society made up of family units or pairs or young singles.

I can not find a category to belong to..

A terrible migraine is blocking my thoughts.

I try to count the says towards the end of summer..


About seagullsea

a seagull flying over the great ocean of life observing.
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