It seems just the other day when i could pack the dog in a bag and some sandwiches and hop on a train and head towards a beautiful place in nature and walk and walk..now i am a city mouse sadly for every life decision has had its price.
Not too far from here lays the Mediterranean sea but i thought that moving back will allow me more possibilities but to my astonishment, i discover that here too, back home in Israel i have to face people who are narrow minded and dont really see all that i am and all that i can contribute , i am being offered work here , more than i had ever had offered to me in Switzerland, i am big in the kindergarten business but because of my age and being naive i am being offered low pay, and so i think about my life and how it used to be and think that perhaps it is all going to be worth it if i can travel somewhere, and to once again walk amongst trees and sing to myself ..even in switzerland it was difficult to find a place where i could sing alone but i always did find a place ..
As i sit writing by a noisy street very near a park with trees i wonder why i am not with the trees and decide to go and hug a Eucalyptus tree and to embrace all that is me and one day, i hope, i will one again be near nature again, because being here , speaking in my native tongue, i can get closer to my nature, of who i am and where i came from and build from there leaving the past behind.
Becoming once again part of a human society is not that easy, i have to lower my expectations, i was a wolf child for too long but as i have my two wolves accompanying i know i need to trust the process and not to regret having returned to the place where it all began and where the wounds of growing up unloved and not valued first became manifest, i am on a journey of healing and who knows where it will take me ?
And now i go to that tree!