So i turn on my youtube and listen to this young woman sum up what was missing from most of my life: living abuse free!
First it was my family, where i was born, and never knew what to expect, a violent temper tantrum from my sister or mother, or brother , hoping my father would be at home, then when he had died, hoping they were in a good mood or walking on eggshells trying to please them and yet doing just the opposite..
Then it was my dates; men who could not care less how i felt
and then my husband, who was the blue ribbon award winner of how to abuse a person and make them feel they were responsible for it ..the gas lighting expert of them all.
What you need to know if you are in an abusive relationship is first of all to know that you are in an abusive relationship !
The other day i ran into a lovely elderly lady who shared with me how her husband had thrown the daughter’s cat out in one of the worst storms to have hit our region; a heavy rain and winds that tossed around trees and how she had ran in her pyjamas to rescue the cat and fortunately found it before the wind and rain did.
“He isn’t that bad”, she had excused the sadistic behaviour of her husband to whom she had been exposed for 40 years of marriage.. he does not harm anyone , just the cat, she said , and i seriously doubted that.
Being blind to abuse is one of the characteristics that endear victims of abuse to abusers !
Being cruel to animals/pets is how it starts and never ends.
Beware of abusive behaviour and never ever accept it , no matter how much you need the money , the second or first salary , get help for you and the cat or whoever is being abused alongside you and remember, you will never be the only one abused, abuse comes with this guarantee; it influences everyone around the abusive person .