I worry

I worry people who knew me in the past read me the way a neighbor confessed a tooth ache so I recommended a pill I had against strong tooth pain a pharmacist recommended one weekend I was overwhelmed with tooth ache .

I guess I wish that my encounters with people would be easier and with more mutual commitment;I am so easily willing to help to anyone who reaches out and wish that no one who had worked with me in the past and will I shared my blog is reading me because I was is disappointed the way i felt used .

Have you ever had someone offer you a ride then confess to you family problems and you hope this is the start of a friendship but it is not !

The problem with growing up with a mentally unbalanced mother and mebtalky unbalanced family members is that you fail to recognize who is sincerely interested in you and who is preoccupied narcisstic alcoholic or just plain unavailable emotionally and you rush to everyone like a puppy wagging your tail and then find a closed door.

I worry I will never learn to go past the closed doors and seek that Alice in wonderland door that will take me to good places where I can be without constant worry I not loved abd too often mocked.

I worry I will never learn and that maybe I don’t want to stop being a stupid puppy lost anxious and seeking approval .

About seagullsea

a seagull flying over the great ocean of life observing.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s