Today is the song of the sea and I am busy cleaning a week too late since I didn’t find the motivation before
Once again I get upset and angry when my son does not cooperate .
I feel tired and exhausted still a single parent carrying the heavy load of food shopping ,food schlepping and cooking and cleaning and seeing how messy my place for since everything is on my TIRED exhausted shoulders .
Dseparate for friends I once again not SELECT and find myself speaking to immature people busy at the mating game rather than dealing with responsibility of a family of taking care of ANYONE but themself .
Narcissists are people who have not evolved any sense of responsibility for anyone ,they treat people like tastes treats and do not reflect BOUNDARIES and lose interest in anyone who doesn’t play prey to their predatory personality .
The men and women who see I’m everyone a use of not Make me so exhausted because all I feel is a deep sense of DISAPPOINTMENT.
I want to live a beautiful meaningful life and as I observe ultra orthodox families and how the men shop for food alongside me at the super saver supermarket I found myself at this morning I feel so tired being all alone and having to do everything alone without anyone giving a second thought to my needs to my wishes but this is the dance of the narcissist ;you either serve their SHORT TERM goal as a piece of ass or they can not be bothered and then comes the rejection,the “BUSY FUCKING ARIUND/involved with myself “sign and why is it I feel flooded with despair ?
where are the food caring people who are interested in history and literature and art and not focused on short term physical thrills?
Where are the good people ?
Lost on the path to good intentions and so is it a wonder I wind up in personal HELL wanting to hear my head against the wall screaming
NO MORE SHALLOW SELFISH IMMATURE CHILDREN WHO SEEK YOU FOR TABLE CRUMBS
It is time to stop being a care takes and take care of myself !
It is time to hear stories how hook ups went wrong -they ARE wrong people are not THINGS so stop behaving like they are.
It is time to stop listening to stories about how other people are like cream cakes -people are more than the outer layer so stop boring me sit your obsessions and infatuation and allow me to get to stand on tip toes and reach out to heaven and leave the mad mortals FAR FAR FAR away